


Knowing me, knowing you

by FleurSansCoeur



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Minor Fleur Delacour/Bill Weasley, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22854034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleurSansCoeur/pseuds/FleurSansCoeur
Summary: At 27, Hermione starts living a late self awakening that flips her world upside down. A journey of self discovery, joy, heartache and changes.
Relationships: Fleur Delacour/Bill Weasley, Fleur Delacour/Hermione Granger, Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Original Female Character(s), Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Ron Weasley & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 47





	1. Getting to know me

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Fleurmione fanfiction, let me know what you think in the comments.
> 
> Suffise to say, all important characters are not mine and are sole property of JK Rowling. This fanfic is just for fun and not meant to generate any profit

**Knowing me, knowing you.**

**Part 1. Getting to know me.**

**Mistakes**

The first notes of that familiar and most appropriate song reverberate through her body while taking a shower. The music fills her with nostalgy as it takes her back to when she was a little girl: Before finding out she was a witch… before going to muggle school even… it seemed so long ago. Almost another lifetime.

Her mother used to like staying a couple of days at home, she purposefully scheduled her appointments for the week to have time with her only daughter, and sometimes she liked to clean the house or cook a special meal, with the stereo blasting the songs of _ABBA_.

It was a marvelous one on one time they had together dancing and singing through the house. It were simpler times, when the little girl didn’t thought much about the lyrics she was hearing and trying to keep up with; and organizing her toys, stealing her parents books to read, wondering why the teapot whistled or why the moon didn’t show up every night were the most she had to worry about.

It now sent shivers down her spine to think how much she misses her parents. After the war ended she was finally able to get back to them, it took almost a year of research, brewing complex potions and no shortage of spellwork to manage that they remembered her. After all, it had been a thorough wipe-out what she did on their memories to protect them from the possibility of torture by Death eaters or from “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" himself… It was a straightforward decision at the time: She loved them, and could not have bore to have them tortured for who she was associated with our what she stood for.

At the end she did not lose her parents to Voldemort - the name having lost it’s threatening sound at the light of these events - as at the end it was she and not the terrible dark wizard who manage to leave them unrecognizable.

It was indeed never the same again. They appeared to know her but there was a thin veil between them, a disconnection that resonated in every interaction, a numbness to it that could be qualified as robotic. It was the difference between remembering someone and having someone explain to you your connection to a person. She realizes now and had been fully aware for years that it was a mistake, and that certainly there were other options she should have consider at the time.

It hurt her to think of all the mistakes she had made in her life, it’s true that they made the most sense at the time, but their repercussions were too big now. It wasn't that they were numerous either, but she found they still cut deeply into her like open wounds that refuse to be completely cured. She now feared she was far too young when those decisions were taken and perhaps she did not know any better even when people fancy her as a know-it-all.

It is on mistakes like these that she finds herself constantly dwelling and it seems this song is stretching out on her reverie. But now this lyrics... they make her think of her husband, it is such a strange concept: Husband. Of course she knows what it means and what it refers to, she even remembers her wedding in vivid detail, their vows to each other… She can recall when Ron proposed, and why she accepted and why she uttered an “I do” at the altar, but cannot feel it, cannot make herself relate to it… Not anymore, never in her heart.

She had come to the realization that more often than not her sense took over too quickly in the decision making process, her heart seldomy, almost never, considered… and now… now it hurts the brunette too much.

Thinking back, she contemplates her whole life and her uncertain future under that light, on counting her heart into the equation… And at the light of what happened a few months ago.

**Tea and** **_café_ **

It is unnerving to even wonder a little bit more about this event, to close her eyes and go back to that moment and remember. It has an intoxicating effect on her body, one that has been fairly new to the woman. She would blush to have to admit her southern region starts pounding with a heartbeat, a little heat starts spreading with a strong and a bit of a fast pace heartbeat. 

She was coming back from work at the Ministry when her voice reached her.

“ _Ermione_!” it had been years since she had not heard that voice, but it was unmistakable. When she twirled to face her however, she found herself in front of the beautiful now woman Fleur. The French woman stood taller than her as ever, with her platinum blonde hair tied up in a long ponytail, a few strands framing her face in each side. Her deep blue eyes sparkled in the smile that show her pearly white teeth. The makeup accentuated her natural beauty rather than covered it and she was wearing a royal blue coat that emphasized her femininity and eyes. Later on when Hermione was able to break contact from the ocean that was her gaze realized she was also wearing a cream turtleneck sweater, light brown boots and a pair of jeans. It was a little bit shocking really, she looked better now grown up (if possible, considering her allure was legendary to say the least), and the brunette could not place why she felt a little off in her proximity, like she may lose her balance at any moment. It was the first time in her life that the sight of the blonde had that effect on her. Of course she would have seen a more poignant version of what she was feeling on other people (Ron included) ... What had changed? She had, clearly.

“Fleur! hm, nice to see you! How you’ve been?” She blurted out without thinking much but regretting to have asked that after noting that the last time she had seen the woman was on her husband’s funeral. However, Fleur seemed relaxed and poised.

“ _Magnifique_ ! Can’t complain really” Fleur smiled widely with only a trace of her accent, before asking her “It _‘as_ been a long time since I’ve seen any of you, would you like to have a uhm, a _café_?”

Hermione was certainly taken aback by the proposition, usually when you meet someone the pleasantries would show up but it would not build up to anything concrete... However, she had nothing else to do for the day, it had been an unusually slow week at the Ministry, and she had done all the work at the office, so for once wasn’t taking some back home, and being a Friday meant not only that she would have the rest of the day to herself but that next morning Ron would have already left for work when she would wake up. Leaving her free to rest, read or do whatever she wanted, really.

In such, nodded, “That would be lovely. I’m not really a fan of coffee, but I can have a tea. Did you have a place in mind?”

The blonde’s eyes, twinkled, and she replied “There is a _petite café_ a couple of blocks from ‘ _ere_ , they serve the best _croissants au chocolat_ ” the smile of the french woman was contagious and the shorter of the two could not help but smile as well.

“That sounds yummy, lead the way” She replied thinking they had never even spoken as much as just now... ever. ‘And now we’re heading to have a hot drink together… and some croissants apparently. This was starting to be the beginning of a potentially awkward situation’ she though. It did not made a lot of sense to do this, but the brunette's heart decided to argue stating that ‘for the very least she could offer a bit of support to her…’ while her brain chimed in making the point that ‘what was she to her? Her ex-sister-in-law? That was a mouthful…’

Thinking of this she felt the pair of blue eyes focusing on her, like a prickle, a tingling sensation on her cheeks. She looked up to see her face of amusement and endearment. A look she never seen from the woman and she blurted out a question mixed with a nervous chuckle at the same time “What?! ” And then a beat to regain control “what are you smiling about?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking age truly becomes you” her tone sounded playful 'and… a little flirtatious?' And then as to seal the remark without a trace of doubt she uttered “you look gorgeous”

Fleurs sped past her without waiting for Hermione's reaction, as the crowd made it impossible to continue the walk side by side. And Hermione was left wondering what she meant by that comment, surely it was a friendly one…'Yes, that was it… it happened often, women having friendly banter all the time, it was part of some women friendships…' she had seen it even when had never been a part of it. 

Hermione shook her head as to clear it up and walked behind the blonde woman without speaking, a furious blush creeping in her features, despite her recent reasoning. ‘Certainly she was just being nice… right? Just unabashedly French… Yes, that was all’. The blonde gazed back at her from time to time and Hermione could see the pearly white when she checked to make sure that she was still following her… as if she could do anything else.

Soon enough Hermione was able to see Fleur stop at a corner, and make a zigzag motion with her wand barely poking out of her pocket, the words mouthed lost for the brunette as they were cast in a whisper. Out of nowhere a set of stairs appeared with a golden sign that read “ _La Gargouille Doré_ ” with what seemed to be a golden kind of small… dragon? Hermione wondered as she followed Fleur climbing the newly appeared set of stairs.

“ _Bonsoir_ ” a petite witch with short dark green hair greeted them. She kind of looked like a beautiful oversized fairy, Hermione thought amused “ _Tableau pour deux_?”

“ _Oui, parlez anglais s'il vous plaît_?” The face of Fleur was kind and apologetic, as if knowing her request would not be well received, and Hermione was silently touched, appreciating her manners and consideration, even though she could defend herself in the romantic language.

The short haired witch momentarily made a grimace, it lasted less than a second. Hermione would have missed it had she blinked. And addressed them “Of course, come with me” she spoke with a thicker accent and lead the way to a secluded balcony with a table for two. Even with the years she had spent in the magical word and the things Hermione could achieve with her trusted wand she couldn't help but wonder how beautiful magic could be. The balcony did not face crowded London rather a French countryside view. While London was cold and grey, the balcony was warm and a golden sunsety light covered the table.

Hermione´s face was filled with amusement as both witches were looking at her wonder, the small witch even smiling in earnest. The brunette blushed again at this, feeling self conscious now, she was certainly not that quick to blush or even at all. ‘What’s the deal with me today‘ she thought mortified. The fairy-like witch then flicked her wand and a couple of menus appeared. She then addressed Fleur, “I am fairly new at LGD and have not seen you before but I gather you know how to order?”

“ _Oui_ ” replied the blonde with a short nod and a kind smile. And Hermione felt a sort of annoyance as the other witch could not help but return the smile and wink at the blonde while she disappeared.

All the plates on the menu sounded so good it almost tempted her to order one of each “Do you know what to order?” the blue eyed French asked.

“Everything sounds delicious, but I think I will go with your recommendation I want a chocolate croissant and a Tea” as she was saying this Fleur wrote the order on the back of the Menu, including her own choice as well. Hermione noted her writing was quite handsome, almost magical on its own.

As soon as she finished writing, a tea set appeared, complete with a teapot, cup, fresh milk and sugar, it smelled amazing, so comforting, and for Fleur a mug of freshly pressed café _noisette_. Simultaneously a couple of big croissants were forming in front of them and got to a gold crisp before landing swiftly in each of the plates.

Hermione grabbed it eagerly and took a bite of the freshly baked good that dissolved in her mouth just before a delicious punch of dark chocolate covered her tongue “Uhmm” she wasn’t able to hold a somewhat gutural deep moan “You weren’t kidding, this is marvelous”. She continued trying to cover the sound she had uttered.

Fleur lifted up a single eyebrow mischievously and she was definitely trying to keep a straight face “I would not kid when it comes to _croissants au chocolat_ , ‘Ermione” they both could not help but laugh releasing the tension of the moment with Fleur’s attempt to be serious.

The evening went rather well, not nearly as awkward as Hermione had thought at first. That is except when she decided to address Bill’s death.

“So, how are you holding up? I mean, uhm… after Bill” Fleur’s eyes reflected a hint of sadness and something else that remained a riddle for Hermione. She quickly added “I mean, sorry for bringing this up but I feel you were not supported enough after it happened. And I feel partially responsible for it… You know? I just wanted to let you know, we can talk about it if you'd like.” When she finished rambling she felt pressured by her own choice of topic.

Fleur regarded her for a couple of seconds… what was she thinking about? And then replied simply “ _‘e_ was a wonderful man and _‘is_ life was cut too shortly and way to sudden… war ‘as a way of doing that”

Hermione nodded thinking on the odd choice of words and found herself blurting out “I’m sorry about how we acted”. Truth be told it was no secret that Ginny, Molly and her were no fans of Fleur. But she still felt that they had not followed up with the blonde as they should have considering everything and she made sure she knew it. “We should have been there for you more. It was hard on all of us but I understand that perhaps you needed more support” she insisted.

Fleur looked like she was in the verge of saying something but she shook her head for a fraction of an inch before saying “All _‘as_ passed, do not worry about it. I certainly did not expect anything different and my family supported me through it all. _‘Owever merci_ , for the sentiment” then she added “let’s move to a different subject, _oui_?”

Hermione was curious of what Fleur had held back, but proceeded as she wished.

They quickly forgot about the awkward interaction, and swiftly changed the subject to cover from what they were both doing professionally, to somehow diverting to theories descriptions and dissertations, on primitive forms of magic, treatment of magical creatures, women’s equality, their favorite authors and what they both expected the new Minister of Magic to accomplish while trying more things in the menu. Fleur proved to hold her own in each topic discussed and Hermione started finding the blonde even more captivating. More so, she felt so at ease with the blonde, as if they had been close since the beginning.

“A couple of years ago, I stumbled ble upon an ancient parchment, in the Ministry’s Library” the brunette started to say, a sly smile forming on her lips as she added “One of the perks from working there”

“Ah! now I know why you are still working there _Mademoisellle Granger_!” replied Fleur mockingly pointing an accusatory finger but failing to be serious again by letting a laugh escape her features. It was a marvelous sound Hermione could never get tired of hearing, like bells.

“You wouldn’t be completely wrong in assuming that” She replied honestly with a smile of her own. While being met by a knowing look. Although she did loved her work, that big perk sealed the deal. “Anyhow, as I was saying, I came across this magnificent work by Arvid Erikson, descendant of Leif Erikson. She was a Viking witch that explored the Americas, and found in the southern regions of Central America clans of muggle natives that had wizards as figures of leadership: _Chamanes_ I believe they were called, and she recollected a number of rather interesting potions from making gold temporarily malleable, to removing all undesired hair from your body and taking away a women’s fertility just to be able to easily return it with another potion like that” she finished, snapping her fingers.

“How interesting, I don't think we 'ave the equivalents for all of those to this date. It is like that study performed by Chavez two years ago…” The blonde was saying, her lips captivating her...

While nodding vaguely, Hermione saw the clock out of the corner of her eye and realized it was already past twelve.

“Oh for Merlin’s beard! Look at the time, it sneaked up on us, didn’t it? I was enjoying myself too much perhaps” She was too startled to realize that she had rudely interrupted the blonde while looking for her purse to pay her part.

“Never enough” Fleur smiled satisfied, not showing to be bothered by the interruption “We should repeat it, _oui_ ? I still want to know your take on the study of Chavez findings in the Amazonian forest, though” she stated as Hermione felt amused that the blonde was not above mentioning where they have left the conversation, and she seemed genuinely interested for her opinion. She was about to comment while continuing getting her purse as to pay for her part when she replied “Oh _non_ !, I will not _‘ave_ it. I’ll pay, it was my idea after all”

Seeing that she was about to protest the French quickly added “You will invite me next time, _oui_?” Now that was an offer she could not refuse.

They exited the parlor after paying still talking and laughing, Hermione honestly could not remember spending a better time with someone else. Then at the bottom of the stairs Fleur gestured to her right, “I’m going over there” 

Hermione, feeling a twinge of sadness replied “I think I’ll apparate, I usually like to take the tube” she stated, gesturing to her left “but I think is rather late”.

“ _Oui_ ” the French woman stated “It was a pleasure spending the evening with you _‘Ermione_ . I _‘ope_ we see each other soon” and then it had happened: Fleur had approached her cheek as to give her a kiss, but while both were adjusting, it landed instead on the corner of the brunette's mouth, moistening the left side of her mouth a little. 

Hermione felt as if an energy surge came from that simple action her heart started pounding, while a tingling sensation reached her tummy and spread between her legs, and for once, she was at a blank trying to make sense of what had just happened. 'Why had she felt that way’

Fleur pulled away quickly as Hermione stayed there frozen. 

Seeing the reaction, Fleur quickly laughed nervously “ _Pardon_ that was my bad. I think I am more tired than I realized” the only though in Hermione's brain was ‘do it again’, but at a loss, could only smile nervously chuckling along while disapparating and almost instantly apparating at her living room, the fireplace was almost all ashes, with a light flickering of flames still present and the snores of Ron coming from the couch, clearly having fallen asleep expecting her to arrive made the moment past seem to be in another reality.

It was in this cold, darkening room that she used to call home, that an eerie numbness spread through her body and into her bones when the reality hit her and the evening with Fleur was left to be a memory of summer on what now seemed and endless winter.

A hot dense tear verged on her left eye and before she could wipe it, trailed quickly to her chin, being followed by more. 

With a last glance for the night to her husband, Hermione quietly went to the bathroom, casting a silencing charm and letting her body vent.

**Reviewing the past.**

When it appeared Hermione had run out of tears, she casted a warming charm on the tiles without thinking and sat on the floor. She took a deep breath and wondered. She was attracted to Fleur, there was no denying it, she realized. It was strange, the blonde never appealed to her before, in fact, it was annoying how people stare at her and she was kind of rude at the Triwizard Tournament… but was she? She started thinking, they were not close enough to say this for granted. And then, when she married Bill it was hard to like her when she was so different from them and talking to Ginny and Molly only reinforced how annoying the French was… But then again, it was what she had assumed. To be honest, they never truly interacted that much… But now… ‘’Now I am treading on dangerous waters…’’ She whispered to herself. "I like her. I felt aroused with that simple kiss…’’ She sighed. ‘’Do I fancy women? How have I not realized it before? Or, more likely, payed the proper attention to it…’’ she trailed.

Thinking of Fleur in her fourth year made her think of Viktor. It was almost a different era back then when she thought about it, even though at the moment the real war was only starting to brew, it seemed it was much a lighter time than what followed.

She remembered how at fourteen she hadn’t even thought about being with someone, what she liked or disliked, or even what she desired hadn’t crossed her mind. Those, on her teenager mind, were superfluous things that did not deserve her time being wasted on (Oh, how wrong she now knew she had been). Her interest was solely capture by books and classes, learning, knowing… and of course, surviving being friends with Voldemort's greatest target. 

She was thrilled even, four years after receiving confirmation that there was a curious power inside her, that magic was real, not the stuff of fairy tales (which before knowing for a fact magic existed, felt rather silly and ridiculous to her younger logician mind: There was no scientific proof of enchantments and wands) and her interest peaked by learning that there were witches and wizards hiding from the world that she used to consider normal and that there was so much more to learn. She found herself wanting to know it all, from the history, to the meaning of every ingredient in a potion, their properties, reactions and others. She was captivated by all there was to read and discover and so mesmerized by her wand when finally getting one, by how she could make sparkles out of thin air, and then things move, or create, morph, brew and enchant… She felt whole when doing magic. There was so much more to learn, and she wanted to learn it all. It was even hard to understand how her peers did not felt the same way.

Her mind has always been like a sponge, and was dedicated to cover her schedule with learning, more and more. At her fourth year at Hogwarts she was already the smartest among her peers and it was that affinity for words and education that alienated her from her own feelings (She was now recognizing it, and that this behavior carried over for more than a decade after) this resulted in knowing a lot about her exterior, but near to nothing about her interior, her own self.

Returning to Viktor, she did remember why she accepted the boy. It was only logical at the time. Even with all her lioness teenager pride, and her own female empowerment she felt as an outsider, removed from her female peers which she could confess bothered her to a degree. She had always held herself so high, that it was a little difficult to understand why other people didn’t see her in the same way. True that Ron and Harry regarded her in high spirits, and that their friendship was tight, but they did not appreciate her wisdom, accomplishments and thirst for knowledge as a point of beauty, rather as a convenience in their life.

When Viktor had approached her, the shy young man’s dark eyes, twinkled with interest when they discussed a variety of topics. It was clear that he was attracted to her mind, entranced by her intellect, he listened to what she had to say and was captured by her way of speaking. And she had to admit that she felt thrilled of the recognition, so much, that she started to really like how she saw herself in the reflection of those black eyes. It also helped that the Bulgarian was truly smart (No wonder why, as he was one of the champions for the Triwizard Tournament... as was Fleur...), and when he spoke enthusiastically it was interesting to hear what he knew and his point of view, it was truly stimulating.

She recalled that she started to fancy herself prettier than ever before, and wanted that to be reflected on her physical appearance when Viktor asked her to the Yule Ball. She searched for potions to make herself look prettier, and seeing herself as a beautiful young lady in the mirror. She manage to show externally exactly how she felt, in her dark blue and elegant robes for a night of wonders. 

She had even taken the time to place replicas of the constellations at the bottom of her dress robes, make it seem like she was wearing a starry night. It had been fun and it had felt good, but when the time came that the Bulgarian stopped their interesting conversation and proceeded to kiss her it felt rather sloppy and dull.

Viktor’s face was strong, his skin prickled by the small stumps of hair which he obviously shaved regularly, his lips were hard against hers, there was a lot of saliva, and his mouth tasted funny. Overall, it had not been a pleasant experience, when they parted from it he looked overjoyed about it, his eyes dreamy, and she could only give him a small smile in order to not be rude with the boy that had only good things to say about her.

It was that same night, while on her room at Gryffindor tower that she felt empty, she realized he was not attracted to the seeker, and that made her return to her books, it no longer was important either to make sure she looked pretty on the outside... It wasn't worth the effort, after all, she had given her heart and body a chance and it had not paid off. She rather go back to her old love: Reading and learning. And so she did.

All in all, she continued to be in touch with Viktor for a couple of years after, as penpals. She knew how he felt, but decided to keep things amicable and although he was quite disappointed they remained to be good acquaintances, friends even. True that with time they wrote less and less till none at all… coincidentally his last letter was to congratulate her on her marriage to Ron… a short and dry letter. Which left her out of a good friend that unfortunately wanted more than she could give him.

**“Till death do us part?”**

Back to the present, the melody was still playing (it seemed that the song was longer than she remembered, stretching out while deep in thought.) An Ipod shuffle and a small round shaped bluetooth speaker were floating in midair in a light blue bubble. It had not been an easy feat to make the muggle technology work among all the magic without interference. But she had managed a spell of her own device that allowed the items to be impervious to magic while the sound transpired without any hinder. A stroke of genius, if she dared say so herself.

The lyrics carrying so much meaning to her own situation “Knowing me, knowing you” She can’t help but sing feeling the words in her heart, feeling a little bit of despair on what they mean “There is nothing we can do… we just have to face it, this time we’re through… breaking up is never easy, I know, but I have to go… it’s the best I can do...” Tears running through her eyes, she can’t help it thinking of the hurt she will inflict upon Ron when she dares speak with him about how she feels. She doesn’t want to break the heart of her best friend.

The song finally ending, she turns off the Ipod and makes it levitate to the basket where she keeps it. While thinking of the “knowing me” portion. That is what she has come to realize now. She has started knowing herself more, and found that her current situation could not continue for much longer. Or rather she now knows that she is in this situation by not having known herself better to begin with.

With a swish of her wand she casts another non-verbal spell to dry her hair and body in a swirl of warm wind. And although she likes to brush her hair in the muggle way she does use a bit of the “Tame-o” potion she purchased on Diagon Alley to cover the strands, all the while she finds herself drifting again to the red haired man that she agreed to shared her life with.

And she does love him very much, although she has realized she actually loves him as much as she loves Harry, it was not that she is in love with both men, rather with neither. How would she explain it? ‘I certainly love them both, but I am not in-love with the person I have stated I would spend the rest of my life with’ she thinks bitterly while uttering a “Till death do us part” a shiver runs through her thinking that could become a reality.

She knows why she started dating Ron in the first place. Like everything else in her life, it made sense at the time, they were amidst war, thinking they could die at any point, fighting next to each other. She had missed him so much when he had left them... They were supposed to be a trio, and when she found herself alone with Harry the energy of their relationship was stranded… And then, he came back… How had he dared to leave them, to betray their own fellowship… She was furious... 

Then when he found them back she could see his redemption. He had tried to go back as soon as possible and several times before he was successful. Then he impressed her, he had learned and remembered to speak parseltongue when the time was pressing and they needed to find the basilisk’s fangs to get rid of the pieces of You-know-who… And then when she thought her friend could not impress her more he spoke in favor of the house elves. He showed her he cared for what she did, and in that moment it was enough.

She remembers that one of the things that threw her off was how jealous she felt of missing her friends to their girlfriends. She know recognizes that with Ginny it was not that pronounced, it was different because she was her friend as well, she did not felt she was losing Harry when they were a couple but with Ron and Lavender it was preposterous. It enraged her, Lavender was obnoxious, her over clinginess infuriate the brunette. 

She was losing one of her best friends to this idiotic of a person. She almost wanted to puke whenever she heard her say “Won-won” and that made her think that perhaps Ron meant more to her than he actually did… and that did it…

All those elements together made sense, and she kissed her best friend. It was different than kissing Viktor. For one, Ron was softer, he also had a little bit of facial hair but it was soft, not near as uncomfortable as the Bulgarian’s had been… It was nice… and the adrenaline of the moment gave her heart a ran. Yes, she thought that was it.

Then, the war ended but the feeling of dread was far from gone. They had lost so many people along the way and the absence of Tonks, Remus, Fred, Bill… among so many others was heavy on their hearts. It still felt strange to wake up after so much loss and destruction and having one of her best friends at her side helped her carry on. Caring for Ron helped her as well. They regularly visited the Burrow, the Potters and George in his flat, Charlie, and Percy… truth was they didn't visit Percy that much, and they were trying to make sense to their lives now that everything was better… difficult but better. It was hard to get back to a regular, peaceful life after all they had been through.

It only made sense that after Harry tied the knot with Ginny, and Ron asked her to marry him to say yes… It was all she knew… and after all, it made sense on the dynamics of their little group.

She lets a small breath come out “Alas, it made sense”. It's not that she's miserable either but she's not particularly happy. Ron still makes her laugh from time to time with his silliness, but he is not fascinating. He also doesn’t seem to like when she rambles on her passionate speeches of a certain topic or when she's detailed and thorough on her beliefs… He no longer pays attention. She feels empty when kissing the man, her heart no longer runs at the touch of his lips (only on their first kiss had it done so, were she to be honest). 

She has read that witches, and females in general have a hard time feeling sexually driven, that for most the sexual act was not that good, nor appealing and Hermione felt it to be true.

She had waited to be married to have sex with Ron. Truth be told, she was not thrilled on the idea, and waiting made sense as to postpone it. Now she kind of wish she had had sex with Ron before… Perhaps then she would not have married him… Or would that had made a difference? Most likely not.

“Knowing me…” she trailed of in a whisper

But if a lot of women felt the same, perhaps it was just how life was. Sex was just not that good (Although Ginny certainly thought different… and was pretty vocal about it too). Or maybe, Ron was not that good a lover. Or feasibly she was not a good lover… then again, Ron always loved to have sex with her and showed no issues with enjoying it (he was as vocal about it as his sister was) So what was wrong?… was there something wrong?

Yes there was!

And she had pondered about it since meeting Fleur. Now that she was being honest, since before in some way, she always found herself thinking on women being attractive but, she had reasoned women were prettier than men, that was a fact that everybody knew, it did not meant anything in particular... no sense dwelling on it (Oh she should have dwell on it.)

Now, she feels extremely guilty. Facing a piece of parchment thinking about asking Fleur out for lunch this time… maybe even dinner. After all, hadn’t she promised to invite the beautiful blonde for their second date? Not date, for the next time then. It felt exciting but at the same time wrong. She's still a married woman… It is not okay for her to go out with someone she fancies even if the other person did not felt the same and didn’t even knew about it, or care for it for all it mattered.

No, she still loves her best friend and they both deserve better. This was not about Fleur, rather herself. These past months she had thought things through. For once she spent more of her time thinking about herself, how **_she_ ** felt, what **_she_ ** wanted… She reminisced about her life and found her suspicions to be true: She was most probably a lesbian. Fleur just woke her up for that realization and if she really loved Ron she would serve him better by letting him know before doing anything else. 

She hadn’t been able to change the situation with her parents, she broke that one up (even though she continually tried to visit them to make it work). But “Ron and I are still young, we still can live through this”

She had made her decision.

She wrote on the piece of parchment to her superior instead, let him know that she needed next Monday off. After tying the small note to Athena, her owl, she sent her on her way. After all, Ron worked Saturdays and Sundays. And she didn’t want to have him come from work with this bomb of news only to have him work the next day. Although surely George would not make him work after this, but she wanted to be fair and considerate. He is her best friend after all.

Knowing me, knowing you…


	2. Now or Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She smiled subtly and with the information processed decided to ask what most likely had not crossed Hermione's mind but would most certainly do so if left unanswered... “You think Fleur's veela side has made you fall under her thrall?”
> 
> Hermione open her mouth as if to say something but left it open in surprise “I… had... Not” recuperating herself she continued “no, not really”

**Part 2. Now or never.**

**Rambloons and schwarzty**

She spends the rest of the Saturday thinking on a friend to talk to about this. Ginny? No, not the sister. Luna? She honestly had no patience for Luna now, she would definitely be vague and talk about things Hermione found hard to believe in… It would just make her mad in her current situation. Harry? Well no, he would be biased. Charlotte? Well, her coworker could be a little chatty, and that meant the secret may be blurted out without filter before she was ready.

Then it occurred to her that it would be unfair to consider a friend to share this before saying it to Ron. He should hear it first, even if it he was probably not going to be the most receptive.

Sighting while thinking on the how, she decides to get out of the house, stretch her legs and perhaps grab an ice cream at Fortescue's.

Fifteen minutes later she is coming out of the ice cream parlor with one of the simplest options in the menu, a cone of two ice cream flavours: Earl Grey and Lavender and white chocolate with raspberry.

While the sun warms her skin and she licks her ice cream enjoying the particular flavors, a dreamy voice reaches her “I did think you may be the one that sent the rambloons coming my way”.

Hermione turned around to see Luna approaching her, a curious smile on her face. She was opting against asking but could not contain herself “Rambloons?”

Luna ever the patient to explain, proceeded. “Rambloons, little yellow rounded creatures with reflecting white eyes. They show up when they know you are needed elsewhere, by someone that does not know how to ask for help. I wasn't sure but I had a feeling it might be you, and what you know, they lead me right here” she finishes with open arms, as if she was saying something that was common knowledge.

The first reaction for Hermione was to debate the statements: she had never heard of such a creature, however she could not deny it was true and oddly fitting to her situation, she decided to swallow her skepticism and be honest (putting her brain on the passenger seat) and smiling to her odd friend simply replied “How nice of you to show up for me, truth is I could certainly use a friend to talk to”

Luna smiled knowingly “Rolf is on an expedition deep in the Sababurg forest, but I took the day off to follow the Rambloons, would you like to have a cup of tea at my house?” She asked while giving her elbow for a side along apparition.

Hermione nodded and was quickly transported to Luna's house. 

It was as odd and quaint as the owner and they both sat on a table with mismatched and original chairs, which somehow went we'll together.

A tray with an assortment of biscuits appeared on the table “Would you care from some schwarzty” Luna asked amused just to throw Hermione off, she just came back from a trip to Germany and bought some regular black tea ‘Schwarz tea’ it was fun to see the look on her face and more so now that she was debating on whether to ask or not.

“Um… water would be fine; I'm still finishing up my ice cream” she said gesturing the treat.

Luna, who knew better conjured a glass of water with a sly smile.

“Do you still need help to voice it out loud?” Luna asked gently, it was a kind question “You see, the rambloons are yet to go away” she pointed behind the tea set, and Hermione noted surprised, the creature Luna had described earlier was poking out, it was almost completely transparent.

The blonde noted the impression on Hermione's face and explained naturally “They're not always transparent, they start disappearing the closer they are to reach their goal. Rolf and I will include them on our next book”

“Do tell me when it comes out, I would like a copy of it, signed if you may” Hermione stated impressed. Luna was just looking at her expectantly and Hermione decided to voice it out loud when she found her friend's eyes started wandering around through the kitchen dreamily.

“I don't know where to begin… I figured something about myself and I think it may… it has broken up my marriage” she looked at the silvery blue eyes of her friend (so different from the Royal Blue's of Fleur) showing so much support and kindness in her silence, giving her room to speak, ears to hear. And so Hermione proceeded first cautiously and then completely open to tell her all. From her encounter with Fleur, to the reasons why she had dated the only two men in her life… she said it all.

Luna stared at her throughout her tale, and she found no judgement from her dreamy eyed friend “And well that's everything” she sighted.

Luna smiled subtly and with the information processed decided to ask what most likely had not crossed Hermione's mind but would most certainly do so if left unanswered, she could know this by the mere shadow of the rambloon nodding to her. “You think Fleur's veela side has made you fall under her thrall?”

Hermione open her mouth as if to say something but left it open in surprise “I… had... Not” recuperating herself she continued “no, not really” she took a drink of water thinking it might be true after all, she was part veela, maybe it had taken a while to reach her and bind her… maybe her marriage was not broken, maybe she had been worried about nothing worth worrying about for months now… 'How hadn't she thought about that?'

But no, all the worrying felt good, right, liberating even… And she did not feel how she should about her husband. Even if she did not fancy Fleur, even if that was just the magic of her kind enticing her… She did like women, she had had a crush on Angelina Johnson she had realized and on Padma Patil to a degree… She did like women.

She sighted while her friend looked at her, with all the patience and posture of somebody that's not waiting for an answer because she already knows it. 

“I don't think that makes a difference… I like women and I do not love Ron in that way” she says while a tear rolls down her cheek. Even having explained everything she had not said it like that before. It was the first time she voiced she liked women to someone else and it was so hard to continue with that left hanging in the air she drank more water and cast her look to the table, suddenly shy of the tear, wiping it and averting her sight.

Luna almost appeared at her side and hugged her. “It's ok” she stroked her hair. “There's nothing wrong with it, I dated a woman for more than a year, you know?”

“You… you did?” Hermione jerked her head up to ask her looking at her face.

“Yes, and it was quite lovely” she kissed her on the forehead, Hermione nodded and wiped her tears away.

“I know I'm being stupid” she said sniffing into some tissues she could've sworn weren't there a second ago.

Luna just smiled “You did not like Fleur when you met her, did you?” It was more of a statement than a question.

“No, I didn't” Hermione answered never the less “I was sick of everyone who did actually”

“Then you're not affected by her thrall” she stated simply “It's in your blood you see, your family doesn't carry the thread then, or you would have always felt it. If you didn't then, and you do now its regular attraction you built up for her, not her species” she said with a smile grazing her lips, her eyes curious and bright.

“Are you sure?” 

“It is my field of expertise, yes” she said simply.

They fell into a comfortable silence, Hermione finished swallowing a bite of biscuit while deciding to go for it and just ask it… "What happened?... With you and her I mean" 

Luna understood perfectly what she was referring to. "Some things, lovely as they may be, are not meant to last… She was, well probably still is… a crazily amazing good, gorgeously smart, very kindly hearted, and mesmerizing in bed" she finishes with a smile forming in her face as if remembering relaxed and satisfied. 

Her contentment and openness makes Hermione blush furiously, her heart skipping a beat thinking what it may be… A gorgeous certain French woman in bed with her… The image clear in her mind, makes her wet instantly… She clears her throat awkwardly suddenly realizing how inappropriate she is behaving, she quickly colds her water out with a movement of her wand and takes a big gulp as to snuff out the flame in her. 

Luna surely noticed, but was gazing elsewhere as per usual, making her comfortable by not addressing it. 

'Somethings are not meant to last' Hermione repeated in her head, as a way of doubting her situation once more… ‘Luna was married to a man after all, what if… What if it was just a phase, something not meant to last, what if she threw her marriage down the drain just to have a lovely passing thing… Would it be worth it if that were the case?’ Before she can answer herself, her friend chimes in. 

"It's the same you know? Be it you like women, like you do, or both male and female as I… At the end you will know, when is right… you'll be able to tell. If you haven't already… Then it may not be it" 

How could she know… "Are you a Legilimens, Luna?" she suddenly wonders out loud. Luna just smiles "Only quite perceptive my dear friend, and right now you are as open as a book can be" 

There's no judgment in her, and Hermione is grateful for the rambloons after all. 

Hermione felt a powerful bind of friendship for Luna, and was ashamed of not having her honored her as a friend and a scholar more often. “Thank you” she stated while hugging Luna a bit more.

“Call me next time, although I do not mind the rambloons visit” she said with a big smile. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon catching up, Luna even confessed she was almost sure she was pregnant, and that she was going to tell Rolf when the moon was full and bright as to have a happy and safe cycle.

When it was time to leave, Hermione felt happy for the friendship she realized she had.

**Steak and Kidney Pie**

Arriving home, Hermione was exhausted and went to bed early, although somewhat content, she was very tired of thinking for the first time in her life. Rather she was exhausted of all the feeling she had been doing lately.

Sunday came and she woke up determined to give a token of appreciation for Ron before laying down the bad news. And she was pleased to say the day ended rather amicably. She fixed some supper before Ron arrived, and he was thrilled to find a Steak and Kidney Pie waiting for him. It wasn’t that he was picky with food but she knew this, was his favorite one. “What’s the occasion?” He asked, his smile faltering slightly probably contemplating the possibility that today was a special day he had forgotten.

It was too good of a chance for not pulling his leg… Hermione gave him a deep scowl “You don't remember…” her voice trembling slightly.

“No, off course I do, I do remember” Ron replied, panicking and searching his brains for an answer “today is ehm, we're celebrating… we…”

It was too fun but she decided to put him out of his misery “We're celebrating…” she interrupts him sternly “that I cooked your favorite meal” then she bursted out laughing at seeing his shocked face processing what she just uttered only to join her in laughter.

“You devil… you got me there” He said with a grin while enthusiastically seating for dinner.

They had dinner while talking about Ron's day. And after finishing the comfort meal they continued their conversation over a game of wizard chess.

“... We had to set up several enchantments, more than our previous security protocol. I don't know how that little rascal does it but me and Georgi are about to boil him up if we caught him stealing” he said only half joking.

“But you have no proof, do you?” she argued reasonably.

“Well no…” Ron admitted. “But I reckon we’ll have him, with all the extra security he’ll slip and we will get his niffler hands tied.” He laughed “that’s actually accurate, you know? One of the enchantments transforms the legs into tentacles and the hands to niffler paws”

“Well if he is indeed stealing he may have it coming” she reasoned “Do take a picture of it, I wouldn't want to miss that sight” She could not help but giggle at the thought.

“Now well Mrs. Granger, who would've said you would enjoy human ridicule” Ron then told her in fake accusation, Hermione had never taken his last name.

“It would only be for research purposes of course” she replied trying to play innocent but knowing fully well Ron wouldn't take it seriously. 

He just smirked as he took her queen “I swear to you our clientele is crazier every time I check” he stated returning to the subject of the store “Did I told you about Miss Smokva?”

She could not believe he took her queen, she did not see that coming, as the little crowned figurine was sobbing in defeat at the side of the board “You’re just trying to distract me so you can take my pieces”

“Oh now. We both know that’s not true.” Ron dismissed it “You may be better at everything else, but I can win at chess with my eyes closed”

“You should try sometime” she replied rolling her eyes in amusement. “So what about Miss Smokva?”

“She comes every single Saturday to buy a Pygmy Puff”

“Well, that is not that crazy, is it?”

“Mione, we are talking about every Saturday, for the past year” said Ron widening his eyes “that is more than 50. What does she do with them? It is a little too much” He then laughed “Now we have the crazy PP lady, perhaps we’ll take over Crazy Cat ladies, the sales may go to the roof if we advertise this correctly” he said wondering.

“PP lady?” she enunciated for him to hear it.

“Pigmy Puff lady is too long” Ron reasoned.

“You honestly do not hear it?” she asked bemused “PP lady, sounds like a rude and insensitive euphemism for a transvestite or an hermaphrodite” she states in fake seriousness “You may get sued for false advertising or for being extremely politically incorrect”

“Hey you're the one suggesting it, my intentions were innocent enough”

They both burst out laughing without being able to stop, gasping for breath at the silliness of it. Each clutching their own ribs for support.

When they were able to stop, Ron looks at Hermione coyly “So what do you say? Do we call it a night?”

Hermione froze with what she hoped was a poker face, she had been avoiding him for a while now in that department. With what she now knew about herself it would be a betrayal to her own body to sleep with him. It was her turn to wrack her brains for an excuse when the perfect one came flying in. 

Her barn owl swept in front of her silently sticking out her talon for her to get the piece of parchment. It was the reply from her boss.

“Naturally, just make sure you brief Charlotte on your schedule in case you need her to cover you. JP” 

As she read it, she could feel the eyes of Ron focused on her... hoping… longing… she almost felt bad for him... almost. 

Then she uttered a white lie (at least that’s how she decided to call it) “Sorry, hon. JP needs me to send him some information for tomorrow morning, I think I’ll be up for a while”

He was about to say something, she could see it and internally cringed but, as he opened his mouth, he then simply sighed in defeat and uttered “Of course, good night Mione.”

“Good night”

When she knew for sure that he was out of earshot she whispered to her Athena while petting her “You were waiting for the right moment, weren’t you?” the owl gave her a knowing look and nuzzled against her hand. Of course she rewarded her with a well-deserved treat.

**We need to talk**

She doesn't know how she got here, but it doesn’t seem to matter as a loud sound roars above her head and when she looks up a golden dragon sweeps high above where she's standing, flying in the royal blue, almost glowing against the darkening sky.

She forgets about the creature as she walks and enters a forest, the stars disappearing in the canopy of leaves. She doesn’t know why but it lures her, and she keeps on walking, entering deeper into the woods.

She catches a glimpse of a unicorn, it has stopped a few feet from where she's standing and she realizes this is the reason she entered the forest in the first place. It cannot be too old, perhaps about to be two years old, its hair gives its age away, shining brightly in a shade between gold and silver. And naturally the characteristic horn has not grown in just yet.

It’s the most beautiful unicorn she has ever seen, it has a certain grace and enticement she can’t describe. She tries to keep up with it, to stand at its side, but the forest is getting thicker and thicker and she can only follow. However, she's able to see when it turns backwards to catch a glimpse at her, almost as it to see that she's still following. And she certainly is, it is almost as it’s smiling at her, without doing it so.

While she trails after the magnificent creature they encounter a creek, the unicorn jumps to the other side with ease, but the once small trickle of water is expanding now that it’s her turn to pass through it. While she is doubting to cross, a small and young black Zmey is flying with grace following the creek, one of the three heads of it looks at her, with what appears to be a glint of familiarity and interest in the dark eyes when meeting hers, but she can see that it is not going to help her cross as he continues to fly following the body of water.

Hermione takes out her wand and makes herself levitate across the now treacherous river without looking back at the three headed creature, almost as if she never encountered it in the first place. She continues along, trying to catch up with her unicorn, her ragged breath starting to burn her lungs when she gets a glimpse of that platinum hair from its tale. She speeds up and finally arrives to a clearing, which is srangely illuminated by a golden light.

The unicorn looks sumptuous in that beautiful light and when looking up she can see that it was coming from the golden dragon she saw earlier. Hermione starts approaching the unicorn, her heart beating in excitement, she's just inches away, about to touch its platinum hair when a bark comes from behind her, bringing her back from her trance “Hermione” she heard it say.

This is weird, she doesn't recall there were dogs that could speak in any of the books she has read, she turns around to see a small Jack Russel Terrier calling back at her, “Hermione” it states now louder and clearer.

“Hermione, you dozed off at the table, you’re running late for work” are the words that greet her opening eyes at the kitchen table.

The open window lets a punch of sunlight in, bothersome really, not nearly as soothing as the golden light from the dragon. But in her calmness, while she lazily tries to adjust her eyes to the light the demanding tone of Ron presses urgently “Hun, you are already late for work, hurry up, it’s Monday”.

Her brain feels sluggish, coming to the realization that everything was a dream, the details of it already blurry for her. It felt so real though.

“Mione?” Ron takes her back to reality “Don’t you need to get going? At least send an owl?” He added with uncertainty as she was not panicking.

She just shook her head in a negative answer. And took her wand to summon a glass of warm water. Once she swallowed she looks at Ron who was looking curious and a bit worried.

“I asked for the day off” she finally said, when he looked at her with a puzzled expression she added “I need to tell you something, I mean… we need to talk”

His face paled a bit and he swallowed. He seems about to throw up.

“Ron, are you ok?” She asks in concern. ‘Why is he reacting like this, does he know?’ She frantically thinks.

He sat down shaking his head “I knew this was going to happen…” he started.

She sincerely doubts he knows exactly what was about to happen but she encourages him to continue. “What do you mean?”.

“It has to be... innit?” he places his elbows on the table and covers his face with his hands. His voice is muffled but she can understand it. “You… me… it's over, innit?”

That threw her off, was it that obvious? “I… I…” She's at a loss for words, this was not how she planned this to unravel.

“I know I don’t make you happy.” He stated simply his sight crumbling her, he seems defeated. He sighs heavily and looks at her inhaling deeply. “I dunno why I never told you… Or why I didn’t bring it up before… But I can see this is what’s going on”

She just nods, words failing her for the second time today. She never suspected or expected Ron to realize… to pay attention to what was going on, but it seemed that she had been neglecting not only herself…

“But it's good that we are talking about this…” he looked at her expectantly his bright blue eyes hopeful. “I mean, this may be our first step to fix this” he gestured pointing between them back and forth.

She closes her eyes as if she just received a dagger to the gut, it pains her that this is not something they can do and his tone of voice only makes it worse. She hates she has to be the villain and hurt him… but this is something she needs to do... Or she'll be the one to be hurt “I think we're past the point of fixing, darling" her voice is a whisper, barely audible as if asking for pardon for even been uttered. She looks at him directly in the eyes as if trying to convey everything with a single look. 

He looks at her dumbfounded "Darling? You can't be telling me this and call me that" he stands up quickly and she can see his exasperation knowing he is somewhat right. She opens her mouth to say something… Not sure even what… "Look, I…" 

"It’s ok” (it was clearly not) he says stopping her while racing his palm, while shaking his head with his eyes closed and huffing… Not well, to hear what she has to say, at least for the moment. Silence stretches as a deafening wall. It may have been for a few minutes, but it felt like hours for the broken pair. 

It was hard to determine when he had sat down again, hands cradling his head, with elbows hard on the table. 

He grabbed his hair in thick ropes of ginger hair, pulling, knuckles white. He then finally added in an exhale of defeat “It hurts and I kind of wanted it to never happen, but truth be told I am not happy either” he looks up at her, eyes flushed, his skin a rosé. With a mixture of guilt and sadness in his eyes he smiles in almost a grimace “don’t get me wrong, hun, I love you, but I have been feeling our disconnection from quite some time.” 

Somehow he seems recovered, like he wanted to say this a long time ago... “But uhm… you don’t think there is. Something we can do?” he repeats in a small hush while his big aqua blue eyes gaze into hers, contrasting with the white now reddish background… a look of defeat if Hermione had ever seen one. “Now that we both say it aloud… Maybe we can work on it, can’t we? We can grow stronger… perhaps? It doesn't have to be the end… Or have you given up on us completely… is… is” he closes his eyes, as if in a flinch and the next sentence rolls out of his mouth in unison with a single tear from his right eye “Is there someone else?”

Hermione inhales in surprise but Ron doesn't catch it… well there is but there isn't someone else… not really and then she compromises “only myself… and I realized that this is something I can't longer do… I mean… I love you too” she replies, her voice coming out as a crook. She should say it… 'He has a right to know, doesn't he?' but she panics and the words fail to come out… how come it was so easy with Luna… she closes her eyes and continues not knowing what to say “you’re my best friend, you know that right?”

He stands “Your best friend… oh, Mione, don't kick a man when he's down” he winces a little bit, and a silence fells on the room, he sighs and meets her eyes, his blue ones glossed and accumulating tears that threaten to overflow. He reaches for her, half clamoring for a better answer, half knowing not to push for more… they're over and that's it. And Hermione reaches out to his best mate both hugging in understanding that's over that there is nothing they can do as a couple… they're just past they're breaking point. 

He kisses her forehead acknowledging how neglected he has been feeling for years now, how their routines had covered and masqueraded their issues and knowing Hermione enough to know… he sighs while embracing her a little bit harder “I know” he whispers not knowing it all “It doesn’t hurt any less, does it?” She knows what he’s saying, a sharp pang in her chest and a knot in her throat not feeling particularly nice.

“It’s the hardest thing I have ever done” she replies honestly. “And yes, it’s quite painful” She sobs quietly against his shoulder while he strokes her hair, silent tears streaking his cheeks.

They stay like this not knowing for how long. “Well” he breaks the silence “At least I don’t have to work till Wednesday” he says pulling the embrace apart, she can’t help but grin and when he sees this he states “but of course that wasn’t a coincidence”. He grins sadly.

“What do you reckon?” She looks up to his face “Was this a mistake from the beginning? Or could we’ve salvaged it in some way?” she can see the sadness in his eyes now mixed up with something that looks like relief. It is a difficult and complicated mix of feelings for her as well.

“I think we’ve always been the best of friends” She replies neutrally, but she realizes she needs to be more specific for him, he deserves it. “It was… it was indeed a mistake, but, I’m happy it was with you that I made this mistake with. I was never miserable.” she smiles for him in comfort, her eyes teary “It has been ten years together, seven married… overall, I’ve have enjoyed myself through it all, all things considered” and then she decides to plunge in… She is not a coward after all her heart is that of a Lioness, and she does not steer away from the truth. It's hard but it needs to be said… enough cowardice has covered her speech… or lack thereof… “Ron” he glances up meeting her eyes directly.

“Ron…” she repeats searching for words “that's not the whole story...I” closing her eyes she lets it out in stride “The truth is… I realized something about myself, I swear to you that I didn't know before… but I… I'm now confident of my feelings… I now know I'm… I'm gay… I'm a lesbian, that is”

As receptive as Ron seemed to be a minute ago he certainly didn't expect this turn of events. “You… you're what?!” Never had a statement been so loud yet so soft. “No that's not it… I mean… you and I… you're not gay…”

He seems he's talking to himself mostly and Hermione takes the break to sip on her glass of water feeling strangely relieved yet extremely cautious. Ron seems quite pasty in his paleness and is shaking his head rather rigorously while speaking mostly to himself in disbelief.

Her lioness takes the wheel again. “I'm sorry, I didn't know before and I realized until now... ” she repeats quietly, not realizing it was a poor choice of words, the possible implications only apparent to her as Ron's head snapped quickly to see her while he mouthed her words soundlessly.

“And what exactly would have made you realize this… To be so confident I mean… I thought you said there was no one else. Who is… Who is she?”

Suddenly she felt quite protective of Fleur… they really had not done anything wrong. The other woman may not even realize what the whole ordeal meant to Hermione, what it awoke in her… No, it was foolish to discuss this with an anger stricken Ron, nonsense really. “I told you, there is no one else but me. I now know me Ronald Bilius Weasley and I was hoping, rather foolishly perhaps, that you'll understand” she had no patience left for this. And she starts feeling some of the anger herself. “I know this is not easy for you… but it hardly is for me either, so please… try to understand” she finally says half exasperated and half pleadingly trying to dissipate the feeling that had invaded both Gryffindors. 

He closes his eyes and breathes loudly, in slow inhales and exhales. Passing his hand over and over his face until finally a smile manages to appear on his face, without looking too much like a grimace, nodding he says. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean that… it's just hard… I, I mean… You and I… Are you sure?", she just nods and he blankly follows suit letting it interiorize. Then, finally adds apologetically “I think Georgie has a spare room for me...”

That's all she needed, at least what she could have asked for, and she took it for what it was “No, I won’t have it” she says quickly. “You take the house, you’ve done enough by reacting fairly well to the news… Thank you” all in all that was mostly true, putting herself in his shoes for a minute. 

“Always the tone of surprise” he smiles shaking his head in defeat as to reflect the absurdity of the contradiction of feelings he has.

She smiles to him as a final tear rolls through her cheek.

She quickly catches it before it drops and taking the ring from her hand she leaves it next to him. With a move of her wand all her belongings appear packed besides her, including Athena on her cage. She knew she needed a fresh start and had decided weeks ago that it would not be conducive should she remain at their flat. And with another movement of her wand they disappear, she’s sent them to her parents’ house, to her old room specifically.

**All's not lost.**

Arriving to her parent’s house feels as odd as ever. She apparates a few blocks from it, in a secluded spot that she has always preferred to use. Walking gives her time to process what just happened, it is not even 11 am and she is thinking back on the events of this morning. She was proud of her friend all in all. Of the love they still shared and their maturity through it all. She never expected him to behave like he did, or accept it so easily. It seems to her that they were both holding on unto something that wasn’t there.

It is important for Hermione not to lose him, although not as important as she now finds not losing herself. All things taken in, she now feels so light and relieved, the world shines brightly with possibilities and she smiles while feeling a balloon swelling in her chest with happiness.

lt is as if anything and everything is possible.

She finally arrives at her parents’ house, the violets shining in their bluish purple hue, and the Grass of Parnassus covering the rest of the little garden outside the family house. She realizes they’re probably in their practice at this time and pulls her wand discreetly “Alohomora” the door clicks open and she comes inside.

“Homenum Revelio” It’s indeed empty. She walks towards the kitchen, and sees the remnants of a quick breakfast, the kitchen is messy with oil spots, and the sink has some plates and glasses, a frying pan and some silverware. She's about to cast a quick spell to leave everything spotless when the old stereo catches her eye.

She sees the dusty appliance and clicks on play, the big button hard to press… Nothing happens… Maybe it’s broken, but then she realizes that the cord is not plugged in, she plugs it in and the familiar sounds she was thinking about less than a week ago starts to fill the air. 

She starts cleaning the muggle way, there is something soothing and relaxing about the process as the tune plays and she sings “Slipping through my fingers all the time I try to capture every minute, the feeling in it” she's so emotional that her eyes quickly tear up as she thinks of her parents while washing the dishes, singing the song “Do I really see what’s in her mind, each time I think I’m close to knowing… She keeps on growing, Slipping through my fingers all the time”

She can feel her heart swell with emotion at the meaning of this when she hears someone behind her, entering the kitchen, she quickly grabs her wand and grips it tightly but then relaxes when she hears “Honey, it’s that you?” she turns around and sees her mother shaking her head as it to clear her thoughts and all Hermione can see is love in her eyes… she... she remembers, she can tell.

They hug each other and Hermione relaxes into the embrace. She doesn't feel the veil anymore “I wasn’t expecting you my Puddin’, you nearly gave me a heart attack” her warm voice fills Hermione's heart. The term of endearment making her feel whole and loved.

“I’m sorry I should have called...” she starts apologizing

“Nonsense, I was just startled, Is everything ok sweet-pie?”

“Yes mommy, well no… I was wondering If I could stay here, for a while” she states uncertain.

“Of course, baby” she sees her eyes are tearing up.

“Mommy, are you ok?” She asks not knowing how much she should ask, how much is enough, and what is too much.

“I… I… this casette” she laughs a little “do you remember when you were younger? Just a little girl… We used to do chores with this music”.

She sighs in relief; it seems all is not lost. “Yes, I remember perfectly” her voice cracks with emotion… she can’t help it. “Want to relive the old days?”.

As she nods they spend the rest of the day doing chores, dancing, singing and simply enjoying their time together. 


End file.
